Ending a marriage is one of the hardest things anyone will ever go through.
The reality is this: it doesn’t have to be a war that bankrupts you and destroys the family. There is a way to calmly and intelligently negotiate through it — and more couples are doing it each year.
It’s divorce mediation…kissing thousands of fighting families goodbye.
Let’s break it down…
Here’s what’s ahead:
- What Is Divorce Mediation?
- Why More Couples Are Choosing Mediation
- The Biggest Benefits Of Divorce Mediation
- What To Look For In A Family Law Mediator
What Is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation involves spouses meeting with a third-party neutral to negotiate terms of divorce.
That third party is known as a family law mediator. They do not take sides or make decisions for you. They help facilitate conversation, negotiation and compromise between the two parties.
Think of it like this…
Rather than two attorneys battling each other in court, you have a single mediator helping to move discussions along. When you work with a professional divorce mediation service, both parties have professional assistance working towards helping you resolve important matters such as child custody, property division and alimony outside of court.
The mediator stays completely neutral. They help both spouses talk through the tough stuff:
- Child custody arrangements
- Division of assets and debts
- Spousal and child support
- Parenting schedules
- Retirement accounts
It’s a much gentler way that allows the couple to maintain control.
Why More Couples Are Choosing Mediation
Divorce mediation has exploded in popularity over the last decade.
And you can see why. Litigating a divorce takes a lot of money, time, and stress. Mediation turns it upside down.
Here’s the kicker:
About 80% of couples who opt for mediation settle on an agreement, eliminating expensive and lengthy court disputes.
Wow, that is a lot. So most couples who attempt mediation settle without going into court.
Perhaps most importantly, there is a big difference when you talk dollars and cents. According to industry experts, mediation averages $3,000 to $8,000 for the total process, while litigation ranges from $15,000 to $30,000 per party involved. Many high conflict divorces exceed $100,000 in litigation expenses.
That’s not loose change. That’s college tuition, or a house down payment, or a fresh start for you both.
The Biggest Benefits Of Divorce Mediation
Why Couples Should Mediate. Let’s review a few reasons why mediation is better than the traditional process…..
It Saves Money
The financial savings are the most obvious benefit.
Litigation means two different attorneys, court costs, discovery expenses, expert witnesses and countless hours of billable time. Mediation eliminates most of that. Each side splits one professional (the mediator) and gets things resolved much quicker.
Less time = less money spent.
It Saves Time
Litigated divorces can take a year or longer. Mediation? A couple months, typically.
This is because there are no court dates to wait on. No motions to file. No Judge’s packed calendar to work around…mediation sessions are scheduled around the couple’s schedule.
Faster resolution means:
- Less emotional strain on everyone
- Kids adjust sooner to the new normal
- Both parties can move forward with their lives
It Reduces Conflict
This might be the biggest win of all.
Litigation is an adversarial process. It pits spouse against spouse. It makes them argue their case in front of a judge. Litigation often causes long lasting animosity. Mediation is collaborative.
Mutual problem-solving leads to less hostility and increases empathy. That is important —– when kids are part of the relationship.
It Keeps Things Private
Court proceedings are public record.
This means that the entire details of your divorce, financial records and personal problems are open for anyone to look at. Mediation is completely confidential. Anything that is discussed in the mediation session is not discussed with anyone other than the couple, the mediator, and any advising attorneys.
Privacy is huge for couples that value their privacy – and their families’ privacy.
It Puts You In Control
In court, a judge decides how things end.
With mediation, the couple decides. HUGE difference. Rather than giving up control to a stranger in a robe, each party negotiates the agreement that works for their family.
- Custody schedules? Both spouses decide.
- Asset division? Both spouses decide.
- Support amounts? Both spouses decide (within legal guidelines).
That level of control is impressive. And it almost always results in contracts that both parties are more satisfied with overall.
What To Look For In A Family Law Mediator
Not all mediators are created equal.
Choosing a family law mediator can be the difference between success and failure. Here’s how to find the right one for you:
- Someone who understands legal issues: Ideally this person should have some legal experience, specifically family law experience.
Certifications: Mediator will be trained and certified. Mediator will use established techniques to maintain a productive negotiation.
-Impartiality: The mediator should not have an interest in the outcome and should be unbiased toward both parties.
- Communication skills: Be a good listener and know how to diffuse a situation.
-Prestige. Ask around, see what reviews they have, inquire about former clients.
The right mediator doesn’t just facilitate conversation…
They guide both parties toward understanding their rights, help uncover creative options and craft durable agreements. Spend time finding the right fit. It’s worth your effort.
When Mediation May Not Be The Best Option
Mediation is effective for many couples; however there are exceptions.
There are certain cases where litigation might actually be necessary:
- Cases involving domestic violence or abuse
- Situations where one spouse is hiding assets
- Extreme power imbalances between spouses
- One party refusing to negotiate in good faith
If you fall into one of these categories, speaking with a skilled family law attorney is your best option. For most couples, though, mediation is the superior choice.
Bringing It All Together
Divorce is never easy…
It doesn’t have to be ugly. With divorce mediation, you can dissolve your marriage peacefully. It’s easier on the kids, less expensive and faster than traditional divorce.
Rather than litigating disputes, couples can cooperate with a trained family law mediator to create a workable plan for their family.
Quick recap:
- Mediation costs a fraction of litigation
- It’s private, faster, and much less stressful
- Both parties stay in control of the outcome
- The right family law mediator makes all the difference
If you are divorcing, give marriage mediation a serious thought. Done correctly, mediation doesn’t just settle your divorce…it protects the peace.
